Running for me is meditation. It's peace and quiet, time with myself where I can think or not, where I just go; it's healing and restorative, energizing and inspiring. I feel strong and empowered, and face the rest of my life with that perspective. When I don't run I miss it, I miss the monotony, I miss the high afterward, I miss the intuitive connection with my body. Yoga gives me all of this (and more) but in a different way. Together, my running and my yoga practice complete me. Without one I feel a void.
When I come to this island, running is especially special. It takes on a whole new space in my days and connects me to my surroundings in a very intimate and personal way. As I increase my miles naturally, effortlessly in some sense, I feel the natural progression and I thrive on it.
Two days ago, after a few months of avoiding the issue, I had to make the very very difficult decision to stop running for health reasons. It was a choice between keeping on with something that brings me such happiness and mental clarity or giving this up and taking care of my body's health in another respect. Both are positive for me, and so there was no clear-cut answer.
We're often faced with decisions we'd rather not have to make - choosing between two options, neither of which seems the obvious choice. Nevertheless, we must decide, choose, commit to one side. These can vary greatly in importance or relevance to the grander scheme, but when it's put before us, no matter the significance to others, it can often feel impossible to ourselves. Our lives, composed of relationships, health, work, love, discovery - all require decisions daily; most are done subconsciously, yet others take thought and consideration on a more meaningful level.
Being faced with one which would eventually play a crucial role in my overall well-being felt, and still feels, like a huge mountain that I just don't want to climb. My body needs me to stop running but at the same time needs me to run.
The point is that more often than not in life we are faced with decisions, sometimes without an easy or obvious "right" way to proceed. For the difficult ones, we search deep inside for guidance and we hope, we pray, we believe and trust that our intuition will lead us. We decide, we commit, and we stay consistent. Hopefully, we have support systems to encourage and remind us, but most important is to believe in what we're doing and carry with us that strength of knowledge.
Part of me is itching to lace up my running shoes this morning and head out but I know that I am committing fully, and so I will refocus my energy - I will roll out my mat and set my intention for good health, well-being, and peace of mind to support me.
